Tom Farley

Welcome back Dennis and Callahan on a Tuesday morning Tom -- junior is that Chris -- older brother. He's the president in the managing director of the Chris Farley foundation. Which educates young people about substance abuse and addiction. He's written a compelling book called the Chris Farley show Tom joins us on the phone lines this morning good morning Tom how are you. -- wondering -- as as I look at this look at Jerry John here in Boston -- did -- this project Tom with with any fear and doubt. About the emotional impact this project would have on the Big Brother.

You know Holyoke is honestly out -- serve you know. On almost ten years they've been out -- in the foundation. Too like teenagers and you know they'd demand that they can open honesty immunity bill -- the other half truths -- given CAAs so. I mean I've gotten used to really being open and honest about some -- the struggles and so. That part was easy for me my brother's -- little harder for but I was used to it and it was actually more of play get to the good stories in the and a untold stories were what were really. I'd stop and very powerful.

many people did you interview because it is amazingly comprehensive I give you credit you didn't try to. Put too much of your own spin on -- just turn the Mike gonna assume let everybody from. -- from Alec Baldwin the top model to meadows to Chris Rock and -- Adams and all these guys just tell you their Chris Farley stories.

Yeah and and you know because you know over the years before we thought you know I've you know but that's own ballpark and and they all went to the same kind of you know kind of roller coaster that yeah actresses Stanley and and close friends it is you know there's times we were like you want to help on the line you know you try. -- you agree yeah me exactly it's so date. Weren't interested in talking about this. As as a just like my mean without you know full kind of open honesty and so it was really kind of therapeutic prop up for all --

Clearly done reading this book that your brother's life was a dichotomy he was a constant visitor to Church and rehab clinics in fact I lost -- different times he went into rehab. And I'm wondering as a deeper religious yet highly addicted man. Did christmas -- ever have a fighting chance to defeat his demons.

All of you -- way way too.

That's an early in my it.

all the problem yeah I you know I I think yes I knew with our with our city's Mike -- Chris would never patent. Probably anywhere where you view is living up to potential mean. That got him through mean as as as brutal as addiction is. You know has stayed really you know -- that that elements -- mean even when he was at his worst used to going to Church and pray for opened. I think that them.

Sometimes it was a little misguided -- and the story when your your young -- school. Childhood friends that were. The United take a road trip I think to Chicago -- road for the big bottle of vodka -- hold on pulls a rosary out of the glove compartment says ten hail Mary's and our father and says okay it's all in God's hands now hit it and they run -- to Chicago.

Well he also very simplistic view as it is now the one where at second finished one of -- it would though when she who's Jewish. Use explaining that it doers like -- Church site you know go to confession in -- sorry and I and I can go back and do it again. Like I don't think it really worked.

was there. Other than the them the death obviously it is and you get into detail that's the other thing I mean you -- and tell. All the skeletons all you know -- warts and all include in this book which is great I -- his brother but you know. -- covered up for at all as far as I can tell on May -- is that you left though that. That.

I'll -- my therapist you know but that now about really not really I mean. It's like -- get suggest it more than the gist. You know he always come up with other stories that ticket -- competitive so.

looked -- did you come across anyone who didn't like. --

you know. You know what ever they were high as guilty that is it that it was a comedy response was. It was very difficult when he was you know entry accused of the but you know -- you -- that compelling. You know draw and everyone acknowledges that literally everyone acknowledges that it's like. You know -- you know -- so great but you know when he was drinking you know like I said with anyone addiction an incredible capacity. Two two caused pain as well and so but everyone else -- with what -- what a great guy.

I could hard they'll say you didn't really cover up for that either I mean. Do you. Guys union Brothers blame your father you're late father who was a big drinker any big -- and kind of apologized or or kind of overlooked Chris -- flaws for for many years.

Yeah what it maybe we didn't do you know -- it's cut at you know evident -- we didn't I didn't took it you know we couldn't have a pointing out the fact that. You know my parents and my -- particularly really gave you know you know all of our everything -- percent.

Unity were -- and you were spoiled. True that is a question go out and give pulling all bills say go buy some -- have some -- tonight I'm pat and.

Oh potent yes absolutely it was it was incredible by but he gave a separate he gave us. This it might get said that you need to think it is really took the start was. That you're no better than anyone else. And and if you have been given opportunity your life. It's required to view. To deliver that much more in return and Chris in body I mean I never when we get to New York so I was love working in New York and Chris got there. And you know -- immediately you know. -- masses in helping out the the elderly and I'm going press -- is that you know once we put -- that you know what the deal -- every data math you know. But down yet Chris really was a night and -- at double story when he isn't in the second anniversary of sobriety when he. Japanese in hell's kitchen talking to people like they might addictions -- like yours I'm no different no better than you. And so yeah we we definitely had a nice like growing up but them. You know we we gave back as much as we as well.

We're talking with Tom -- written a book called the Chris Farley -- biography in three acts I'm wondering Tom Kelly -- you've determined it's in your own mind. Did -- you're assessment and your evaluation of your brother and his addiction and his troubles. Changed did did your theory what you thought was happening to him and why it was happening to him. When it was going on has it changed -- Britain Balkan heard from many other people your theory in other words as to what was missing in his life to take him where he went.

Well I you know and again this is kind of where I crafted to put our foundation -- I looked at what all the flak growing up was. That real strong communication. After the Chris Wallace foundation though about it is providing kids with good communication skills and down. Because you know we can do most of all the certain you know it was like you know if they got uncomfortable then we start -- we we would make you know.

Well that's Kobe and Irish Catholic are much it's kind of simple.

I actually dispute when he does it bother explain a -- to a lot of people this way he would see. Like for instance somebody like walking down the street like crumpled overlooked either you know. Old or or infirmary you know it's just -- you know hunched over or you know walking you know you know -- And it was mine he'd be going. That poor man you know you know -- you know feel so bad form and then he'd vocalize do you expect a very good -- Yeah -- parties suitor is going to go all over the sidewalk. And then he'd follow up where they're so aggressive -- so was really you know you feel that's a joke out of it. And -- quickly a -- the guys like how weird is bad because he'd just couldn't talk about. You know something that those painful and we we never we can learn that.

That was about it yet you Brothers. I'd like station of a Belushi was not a healthy thing was.

You know I I think what if there really wasn't as built up as people thought I think Chris wanted. Then notoriety you know he wanted it to go where pollution wasn't what was the most famous -- America for two years and he looked at equipment that this is the price you pay. And he didn't say I want to do this because pollution that it. He just said I'm not even think about it. It's just the price you gotta -- but I mean. I analyzing I mean he idolize these guys like Jackie Gleason much longer than I mean look the gate you know set clone it -- you know eight. He is that there was a dark side to pollution you know but.

Did did did he hate the caricature that he would become though. The the -- the -- acquired out of the pathetic balls that --

Right if that was all going to be Amaechi it is that yet so much more depth. And used to eat it is that like police and he showed it in Tommy boy that cannot. You heartfelt you know moments and he wanted that for other films. And if they would let him get there and he used to get very frustrated and that's when he had his biggest relapse was when he saw. I was with some results they preview -- black sheep and just like yes slot right there on the screen. You know that was not up to par and.

You know what that's he was such a great visual comedian that he could now look at him in lap before Matt Foley said a word you're already laughing. That's a gift that's not a curse I think. He was you know too concerned with the -- on just the fact of falls down there -- many fat guys who fall down and make you laugh like he did.

But one out of the booked on his dream was something that surprise you when he sat down and sort of -- in in a moment of clarity that you know what I really wish. Did -- want to be that he wanted to give -- quality to the two finished coolest guise -- the party.

Yep yeah well because my dad so -- my dad any chest felt like. Kind of like an odd is that maybe you know if I got so corporate debt didn't you know how horrible that you might get skinny -- didn't. And you know I -- to -- with the if he has some. There and diagnose things going.

Obviously -- some you were saddened and then. Depressed in the I'm grieving when you found -- he was bad news on the floor of the hotel there with a after the hooker stole his watch and after four Dave binge of Coke and heroin but we at all surprised.

Now I'm not really you know who but you know it's it's kinda liked. You know -- Chris but there's too it's like. Is going back to our argued that you alluded to it's like you know. The worst -- life you know -- is -- picked up you know and you know and that was always there that can help button you know -- get that mindset but you know. NC you know the truck is different it all the for Nathalie like --

Tom during his three years of sobriety two -- question your would you convinced he had beaten it in the second part is -- sort of falls -- jury which are just -- you. Did there come a time after that when clearly he hadn't beaten at the -- said this is a lost cause he's never going to get this behind him.

Yeah I'll let that 11 I never thought that it was a lost cause because I saw that successes such a fighter such a competitor that. That's why he kept going into rehab and knowing -- a couple was every time. He never gave up so I'd I never saw that any point to -- it was a him. It was on unbeatable and.

You thought he had it -- him in and over the three year period.

No you know I knew yet it like kind of keep goal and -- you know it you know that. He's doing that I don't -- what -- there was a young. Here in Madison Wisconsin a woman it's actually George McGovern's daughter Terry McGovern. Had seven years sobriety and relapsed. Keep it walked out of -- on the snow bank in and died of exposure and I think christmas like. It's seven years she relapsed -- and that's what it dawned on this was a lifetime and it just like kitten like economists like. He just but three years ago -- in. Yeah it was. I opening.

I apologize of these numbers are incorrect but I think I read where you said he was in rehab 22 separate times. Over the course of a twelve month period and if that's close to be in the right arithmetic. -- a sense either then or now what triggered each one of those mini relapses was it was very theme.

Yeah I don't I I I don't know that I was I was brought seventh he's as good as he's the man number and maybe -- you know eighteen months but. And in everything from. In goal real peacocks to it's cushy promises in Malibu yeah yeah deck today. What what. What triggered you know I think really what what it was you know when it was not working on a movie. And do and you know like it was a -- live when yet. You know daily affirmations of of laughter people around them but eating net and it flannel and and when he was working on movie -- same thing yet that work ethic -- on what when he was working six months at a time. You know he he just he didn't have that Elise sort of stated that that you -- in recovery and and that's when he really struggled.

What did you learn about -- know before used research in this book did like. Did you know that he stole David -- girlfriend we aware that.

Yeah I remember that you know is written -- my part I was in his apartment once and -- wrote a letter about the whole thing. And that is what it medium like. And it's conflicts some girl -- last year -- you know might select news is there is very comical element like. You know debate it and predict that it wasn't so much the loss for the girlfriend underrated he just he's he's he's so insecure -- is different is it. Excellent friend my Brothers haven't done -- better and movement and Chris was but. You know he just it was -- losses something that was isn't you know that was more it was more than that.

And that's not why David didn't go to the funeral.

Now you know and on all I think it again it's it's suggest you give you know everyone's got their own reasons and stuff yeah I just. If I never really you know really now. Chris was surrounded by his good friend the all the wanted to be there it was. It was about somebody not being there. It was about you know I mean Chris always kept his is as. Local buddies close to him throughout his life in Madison guys in in those look at it was there and those who pulled there isn't that votes and.

the result here is a book that is so all at once funny and sad and enlightening is that what you intended or were you looking for more than funny sad and enlightening.

No I threw it literally that was -- You know -- was you know. Extremely funny he could make you -- very it's very sad story but all the heat you always said that he also as capacities just. You know give you this enlightening moments like you know well. He make you think or you can look at him and a whole different way and be very weird that way -- I got Sato were defunct we always somewhat Fossett is huge figure allies and we always thought that are you were all came from him in most of for the rest as a -- but for Chris. It was a -- at died. That and that that -- on that we don't and we looked like mom like. We have -- This is his might might Boston Irish mother you know -- view grew up in. In Lexington and you know raised and again like that's where it came from this crazy Boston Irish and could cause not. It has -- issues and a lot.

What would -- doing today if we hadn't oh indeed.

I think he you know yet some meeting -- for projects -- you know Shrek was -- Hold different it wasn't the sarcastic -- really -- Heart felt bad you know poker you know that Chris you know Q you made -- complete different.

It was going to distracted it was going to do kingpin John here was when we're going to be one of coast doesn't came in.

Yeah you can do that. -- at the end up also the -- that that it got local story which would events. You know it would've been like Robert Downey's -- and -- it would've been. You know and they're pretty incredible.

To Tommy video of president managing director of the Chris Farley foundation which educates young people about substance abuse and addiction is is that pretty much the mission statement all of what did you success rate bin.

Well we we we we -- one more -- that one more line and -- that is we use humor to do it that I looked at criticism marvelously keying. Uses humor to connect to people. And did a positive way and and you know kids today they don't need anymore you know education -- pamphlets on you know. You know that amphetamines -- they know it's been adamant harmful but when they're faced with peer pressure they don't know how are they don't have the tools. Responded I looked at that is the communication skill and so we go in and and we. And we talked very honestly and openly and say you know with about you know one message one not the only -- We want as -- we want should be safe. And it hit in on what that means you know. You know making that you know -- own judgments on on a few things -- this that you'd get on the table and say about shall not you know whatever. It's crazy to expected to have. That looked like never touched any but it -- say you know and -- and communicate with your peers and and you know we have a lot of fun but it's just old they've been opposite of the honest and it's that's inclusive and that's what.

His name is Tom parlay the book about a brother the Chris -- show a biography in three acts is is certainly compelling and -- any better than a -- five minutes ago. It's all at once funny sad and enlightening Tom Foley thank you very much of the time it like the book and certainly good luck of the foundation going forward as well. Thank you so much top -- with Dennis and Callahan